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Keep Your Kids Safe Online

Bullies, stalkers, and identity thieves target the weak and naive. Here's how to protect your kids from the cyberbaddies

by Eileen Buckholtz

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If you knew everything your kids were doing online, you'd probably be tossing and turning all night. Eighty-seven percent of all U.S. children 16 and under are regularly on the Web, according to Nielsen/Net Rating. Almost 34 million kids are wired--or wireless--from home, school, friends' homes, libraries, and even their cell phones.

Along with the great benefits of e-mail, search engines, and limitless resources for researching term papers, the Internet also has its dangers, including cyberstalking, cyberbullying, and identity theft. Your child's college admission or future employment could be in jeopardy because of provocative pictures and postings on her MySpace, Facebook, or blog page, which don't totally disappear from cyberspace when they're deleted from a webpage. And there's no shortage of sites where kids with credit cards can buy drugs or gamble.

Those are just some of the reasons why you need to be the cyberpolice and monitor how your kids use the Web. Here's what to look for--and what to do about it.

Virtual Bullies and Stalkers

A third of online teens surveyed by the Pew Institute have experienced cyberbullying. They've either received threatening messages or had someone post an embarrassing picture of them or spread a rumor about them online. A number of kids have been victims of cyberstalkers, who may make threats or try to lure them into dangerous meetings or relationships. In 2007, a Florida computer hacker was sentenced to 110 years in prison after being convicted of terrorizing more than 100 victims on MySpace, telling them he knew everything about them and then blackmailing them into posting nude photos of themselves.

The Internet has its dangers, including cyberstalking, cyberbullying, and identity theft.

There's also a new twist: Teens are shooting videos of themselves committing crimes and then posting them on the Web. In a recent well-publicized case, a group of Florida cheerleaders beat up a squad member and posted the video of the attack on YouTube. They told police the reason for the assault was that the victim had posted gossip about them on her MySpace page.

Your child may not tell you if he's being bullied or stalked, but there are signs to watch for, including:

Your child has withdrawn from family and friends.
He quickly minimizes the computer screen when you walk into the room.
She becomes upset when access to the Internet is restricted.
You receive calls for your child from unknown people, or strange letters or packages arrive for him.

What to do: Either ask your child about any online relationships or, if possible, check her favorites folder or bookmarks and do some sleuthing. If you find anything inappropriate, terminate the relationship, delete the e-mail account, and report any abuse to the website's staff. Contact the police or FBI if cyberstalking continues. In the case of cyberbullying, if your child knows the identity of the bully, contact his or her parents as well as school administrators. Many schools and communities are taking action to deal with cyberbullying. In Oconee County, Georgia, for example, the school board is updating the district's code of conduct to include cyberbullying as a form of harassment.

Prevention Strategies

One way you can prevent your kids from being victimized is to control the computer. Establish rules for computer use and monitor the amount of time they spend online--and where they spend it. Take control by following this advice.

Place the computer in a family gathering area rather than in a bedroom.
Develop a family contract for using the Internet that lists what is allowed and what must be approved by a parent, as well as how to handle situations that may arise. For example, if a chat-room friend wants to meet in person or is pushing to find out personal information, teens need to alert parents immediately.
Remind all family members not to give out personal information, including their real names, address, school, phone numbers, and e-mail addresses.
Set up separate e-mail accounts for participating in social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook or online chat rooms. It's best not to use a full name or a provocative e-mail address like . Also, don't use a name that includes information about home address or city.
Remind kids never to share passwords with friends; the family could lose Internet access if a friend were to send out spam.
Watch for signs of teens getting involved in online gaming and poker sites. A former Lehigh University student, addicted to online gambling, robbed an Allentown, Pennsylvania, bank to get the money to keep playing after losing everything he had. Although it's illegal in the United States to gamble online, Americans contribute more than $6 billion a year to offshore websites.
Check credit card statements for any unauthorized or unusual charges from companies you don't recognize.

Eileen Buckholtz is the president of Technology Concepts, a Web design and e-marketing company; a professor of e-business for the University of Phoenix Online; and the author of more than a dozen computer books.